Knowing my Boundaries
How Will This Session Help Me Get Ready For Work?
Starting out in a new job means getting stuck in with a new team, getting to grips with workplace rules, and knowing when to speak up. Every workplace has clear expectations about how we treat one another. Understanding boundaries isn't about being awkward or unhelpful; it is about keeping things fair for everyone! By learning how to spot when you are being pushed in the wrong direction and calmly but clearly adjusting how you act for different settings, you will build healthy relationships at work.
Questions to get started
"Think about a time when someone asked you to do something you were not comfortable with. How did you handle it?"
"If a classmate or workmate says something that makes you feel uncomfortable or puts you on the spot, what is a fair and polite way to let them know?"
Focused Virtues
The Focused Virtue for this session is Fairness.
Fairness means treating people with proper respect, sticking to clear boundaries, and making sure everyone gets a fair hearing without feeling pressured.
Ask Yourself: "Can I grow in fairness by respecting workplace boundaries, acting appropriately, and being honest about my limits?"
Respect the limits, treat everyone with love.
Skills Development:
Getting to grips with clear boundaries at work takes a proper sense of fairness. Fairness helps us respect our own rights and those of our colleagues so everyone can pull together smoothly.
First, spot when others are influencing you. People around us—whether that is line managers, workmates, adverts or social media—often try to sway our thinking or actions. Fairness means learning to spot when someone is attempting to steer or push you, so you can make your own sensible decisions rather than just going along with the crowd.
Second, adjust your behaviour to suit the setting. Different places have different expectations for what is fair and acceptable. How you chat, dress, and joke around with close friends is quite different from how you behave at work or college. Adapting your behaviour keeps the workplace safe and fair for everyone by avoiding actions that might upset or offend others.
Finally, share your reactions politely. When a new idea or situation leaves you feeling uncomfortable, under pressure, or pleased, it is important to speak up at the right moment. Sharing how you feel calmly helps people understand your boundaries and limits and keeps teamwork fair for all.
By spotting when you are being steered, choosing the right behaviour for the job, and speaking up about how you feel, you build proper boundaries and treat everyone with fairness at work.
Interview Practise: Case Studies and Questions
"Can you give an example of a time when you had to adapt how you acted because you were in a new or formal setting?"
"If a teammate suggests an approach that you feel is unsafe or unfair, how would you bring it up with them?"
Case Study
Sam has just started a new job at a local café. During a busy lunchtime rush, a colleague asks Sam to skip washing hands between handling raw food and clean plates to save time, saying: "Everyone cuts corners on this when we're busy, don't worry about it." Sam knows that handwashing is essential for health and safety, but feels under pressure to fit in with the rest of the team. What should she do?
Guidance and Resources for Facilitators
Many entry-level and EAL learners find it tricky to understand or express personal boundaries when starting out in a new workplace. They might struggle with peer pressure, feel unsure about unwritten workplace rules, or stay quiet when feeling out of their depth. As a facilitator, your role is to guide them using fairness—helping them spot when they are being steered, adopt appropriate workplace behaviour, and speak up about their limits respectfully.
Core Concepts & Background Information
Use these key ideas from the skills framework to support your group:
1. Identifying Influence
- Understanding Peer & Workplace Pressure: People try to sway us through their words, tone, or actions. Spotting influence allows learners to pause and think: "Is this fair to me and others?" before agreeing.
- Making Fair Choices: Knowing when someone is attempting to push them helps learners stand firm on company policy, safety rules, and personal limits.
2. Adjusting Behaviour
- Matching the Setting: Every workplace has its own rules, customs, and working culture. What is perfectly fine to say or do with mates (slang, banter, casual clothes) might not be suitable at work and the difference and connection between personal and professional boundaries is important.
- Avoiding Harmful Actions: Adapting behaviour prevents negative situations like offending colleagues, causing distress, or ignoring health and safety. This ensures the working environment stays fair and safe for the whole team.
3. Sharing Reactions
- Expressing Feelings Constructively: Leadership starts with recognising how a suggestion makes you feel and sharing that reaction when appropriate.
- Building Clear Limits: Explaining how a situation or task makes you feel (e.g., "I feel a bit uneasy about doing this without the right safety gear") protects personal boundaries while keeping team communication open and fair.
Overcoming Common Barriers
1. The "I Have to Say Yes to Everything" Barrier
- Reframing: Entry-level workers often assume that agreeing to every request—even unfair or unsafe ones—is the only way to be a reliable employee. Teach them that setting fair boundaries and following safety procedures shows maturity, common sense, and professionalism.
- Simple Prompts:
- "If a colleague asks you to cut corners on a safety rule, why is it fair to say no?"
- "How can you tell someone 'no' while staying polite and helpful?"
2. Cultural & Language Gaps in Behaviour
- Reframing: Unwritten workplace expectations (such as tone of voice, personal space, or workplace banter) can be confusing for EAL learners. Frame adapting behaviour as a practical skill you pick up by observing colleagues and getting to know workplace values.
- Simple Prompts:
- "How do you work out what behaviour is fine in a new workplace or team?"
- "Why is it important to consider how our words might sound to other people?"
3. Classroom Activity: Boundary & Fairness Role-Play
- Pair up learners. Give them a realistic workplace scenario (e.g., "A colleague asks you to cover their tasks so they can go home early, leaving you with too much work" or “Your Manager asks you to stay late three evenings in a row” ). Have one partner practice sharing their reaction calmly using an "I" statement (e.g., "I feel worried I won't get my own tasks done if I take that on"), showing how to set a fair boundary politely.
Delivery Tips for the Session
- Keep Examples Practical: Use relatable, real-world examples from everyday UK workplaces (like retail, hospitality, customer service, or trades).
- Focus on Mutual Respect: Remind learners that boundaries work both ways: fairness means respecting our colleagues' limits as much as our own.
- Use "I" Statements: Practice simple sentence starters like "I feel..." or "I need..." to help EAL learners express their limits clearly and calmly without causing conflict.