Giving and Receiving Feedback
How Will This Session Help Me??
Whether you are getting advice from a teacher on an essay, tips from a sports coach, or sharing thoughts on a classmate’s presentation, feedback is a major part of learning and working. Hearing where you can improve can sometimes feel uncomfortable, and telling someone else how to fix their work can feel awkward. By learning to ask good questions, choose respectful language and actively seek advice, you will build the resilience needed to turn every piece of feedback into progress!
Questions to get started
"Think about a time when someone gave you advice or criticism on a project, game, or artwork. How did you react at first, and what did you do with their advice?"
"When you need to tell a friend or classmate that something in their work isn't quite right, how do you choose your words so you don't hurt their feelings?"
Focused Virtues
The Focused Virtue for this session is Resilience.
Resilience gives us the inner strength to accept feedback without taking it personally, ask smart questions to understand it, and choose thoughtful language when helping others grow.
Ask Yourself: "Can I grow in resilience to seek out feedback, listen with an open mind, and use helpful advice to improve every day?"
Listen with courage, speak with care, grow through feedback.
Skills Development:
Giving and receiving feedback effectively takes practice, self-awareness, and genuine resilience. Feedback is not about judging someone; it is a tool to help everyone improve.
First, actively seek feedback. Resilient learners don't wait around for feedback or dread getting advice. Seeking feedback means proactively asking teachers, peers, or mentors how you can improve your work or skills. Looking for constructive advice shows maturity and puts you in control of your own learning.
Second, use strategic questioning. When someone gives you feedback, don't just nod or feel defensive. Use open questions (starting with what or how) to dig deeper, such as "What is one specific thing I could change to make this section stronger?" Asking clear questions helps you get exact details so you know what action to take.
Third, check that you have understood. Before jumping in to change your work, pause and check your understanding. Repeat back what you heard in your own words (e.g., "So, if I rewrite the conclusion to include two facts, that will improve my grade?"). Checking stops misunderstandings and ensures you act on the right advice.
Finally, choose appropriate language when giving feedback. When offering advice to a classmate or teammate, use clear, respectful, and formal language. Focus on the work itself rather than attacking the person, and frame your points constructively so they feel supported rather than criticised.
Case Studies and Questions
"Can you give an example of a time when you asked someone for feedback on a task? What questions did you ask to get helpful advice?"
"Why do you think top athletes, musicians, and successful professionals constantly ask coaches and mentors for feedback?"
Case Study:
Alex shows a draft presentation to Sara, for peer review. Sara says, "This whole second slide makes no sense and the layout is a mess." Alex feels a sudden surge of defensiveness and embarrassment, wanting to say "Well, your presentation is boring!" and ignore the advice completely. How can Alex respond to Sara’s comment? How could Sara have chosen better language in the first place?
Useful Resources:
https://www.skillsbuilder.uk/universal-framework-steps/listening-step-3-checking
https://www.skillsbuilder.uk/universal-framework-steps/listening-step-8-questioning
https://www.skillsbuilder.uk/universal-framework-steps/speaking-step-6-choosing-language
https://www.skillsbuilder.uk/universal-framework-steps/planning-step-13-seeking-feedback
Guidance and Resources for Facilitators
At 13–14 years old, teenagers often interpret feedback on their work as a direct, personal judgment on their intelligence or identity. This vulnerability leads to two common failure modes: total defensiveness (arguing, blaming, or dismissing the feedback) or total withdrawal (feeling hopeless and giving up). Likewise, when asked to give feedback to peers, teens either default to overly blunt criticisms or superficial praise ("It's good") to avoid social tension. As a facilitator, your role is to guide them using the virtue of resilience—helping them proactively seek input, ask clarifying questions, check their understanding objectively, and frame feedback for others using constructive, respectful language.
Core Concepts & Background Information
To support your group effectively, draw upon these core concepts from the underlying skills framework steps:
1. Seeking Feedback Proactively
- Growth Mindset in Action: Moving from passively receiving corrections to intentionally seeking out advice to accelerate progress.
- Targeted Requests: Teaching students to ask for feedback on specific criteria (e.g., "Can you check if my introduction is clear?") rather than asking broad, unhelpful questions like "Is this okay?"
2. Questioning for Clarity
- Strategic Digging: Using open questions (how, what, why) to unpack vague feedback into concrete, actionable steps.
- Removing Ambiguity: Turning emotional or subjective comments into objective, functional edits.
3. Checking Understanding
- Paraphrasing: Repeating key points back to the person giving feedback to ensure complete alignment before making changes.
- Active Processing: The act of summarizing feedback forces the brain to process the information logically rather than emotionally.
4. Choosing Constructive Language
- Focusing on the Product, Not the Person: Framing critique around the task criteria rather than personal traits.
- Appropriate Register: Using clear, formal, and respectful phrasing that keeps peer communication professional and supportive.
Overcoming Common Barriers
1. The "Critique Means I'm Bad at This" Barrier:
- Reframing: Students often view critical comments as proof of failure. Reframe feedback as "coaching data" that reveals the exact steps needed to reach the next grade or skill level.
- Prompting Reflection: "When a football manager gives a player advice at half-time, is it because they hate the player?"
2. The "It's Fine" / Avoidance Barrier when Giving Feedback:
- Reframing: Students fear hurting peers' feelings, so they give empty praise. Teach them that giving clear, constructive feedback is a true act of kindness and teamwork that helps their partner succeed.
- Prompting Reflection: "If you had something stuck in your teeth before a big presentation, would you want a real friend to tell you politely, or stay silent?"
3. Classroom Activity: The Feedback & Clarification Exchange:
- Pair up students. Make each student bring (or produce) a short piece of work, drawing, or poem. Conduct a 4-step structured exchange:
1. Seek: Student A asks Student B for feedback on one specific part ("Can you tell me how to improve my title/shading etc. ?").
2. Frame: Student B provides 1 strength and 1 constructive tweak using respectful language.
3. Check: Student A paraphrases the advice ("So what you're saying is...").
4. Question: Student A asks one strategic question to get actionable details ("How would you suggest I reword that sentence?").
Delivery Tips for the Session
- Enforce Sentence Starters: Provide explicit prompts for checking understanding ("So to make sure I'm clear, you mean...") and giving feedback ("One strength is... to make it even better, try...").
- Model Receiving Feedback: Ask for unexpected feedback from a student “how could I make this slide, game better?”, walking through the process of pausing, checking, and thanking them openly.